For you, my one lasT dedication,for the acT,for the name you caLLed - f.r.i.e.n.d.s-

My personal journey to princesshood began when i was living in, and grunge was at its grungiest.Everywhere i went there would be girls dressed up in flannel shirts, torn jeans and boots. They didn't look like lumberjacks though, they looked kooL. I was both impressed and envious of their orchestrated ease.

so, i tried in.Influence.

I bought a flannel shirt and i clomped around Doc Marten. but i didn't feel alternative. I felt like a bury foreman.And, i know, this couldn't persue, i donated my "vintage' collection back to Goodwill, i realized that while everyone was tattooing their necks, rummaging through-thrift,store bins for B.O,the most lame thing i could do was to get a French Manicure.


I then, took the label that was a stigma growing up on Long Island and so often associated with spoiled, helpless little girls in designer jeans,and turned it into my very own move-a personal lesson in entitlement theraphy. I figured if everyone else could walk around like a rock-star, why couldn't i be a princess-a princess i long know myself to be-a princess my mom had groomed me into,my nineira had hand-carved.

What am i bringing myself here to be-wasn't what i was before. If i had 10 to spare, i would do much. Self-pity and miraculously to expedite on hanks, is not what i'm reckoned to be.


Of course, we are all entitled to the fantasy,the parties,the De Beers moments, and the sexY gigZ.I know that my expectations are high, i'm also prone to hyperbole.....but i also know,that there are thousands of girls' out there who spent many Halloweens-whether it's a tricK or treaT,or yoU get your facE slanked with muD-walking around their neighborhoods dressed as Cinderella or Princess Leia,who, like me,wouldn't mind getting back to the ball.

You, whoever you are to be, I still believe that inside every women, no matter how she describes her personal style, is an inner princess who wants to pamper herself silly in pursuit of what she thinks is beautiful.

I think i have found that in me - my mom - my nineiRa - and a very good friend i made here:xJ an sOjini.

This is a confession. I don't do this. But today, you reminded me; Michelle and Christina. I don't avenge,neither would i forgive.I'll take it as a lesson learnt for trust, and entrusT the most to betayaL. I've completed myself from a shattered glass,every joint,every prick that hurt so badly till it bleed,wound after wound,self-pretend,all thoose lies-it's all patched up now, to a girl whom you knew 10 years ago and that you missed a year or so-also by friends and self-reliantment.


I stand for the name that beholds me, ascertained to say,not a single shade can prove me guilt.


i stand 10 feet higher than you,yes i do. I may have this life and bliss now,maybe not later,but no sooner will i ever fade back again-not to you.

wOrmwOOd-this is here for a reason,your page is unaccessable.


I will always love you for who you are, and you know who you are.

Labels: body and soul., heart

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